Courage
"Courage desn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day saying I'll try again tomorrow" ~Mariska Hargitay ~
I so need this rite now! I need that little bit of extra courage to get up an try again tomorrow!!
I have some amazing people in my life, who have helped me more than they will ever know!! But sometimes I just wish god would just take me now!! I just want the pain to go away, I know that can't happen over nite but I feel lost @ how i'm ment to move on!!
I want to go away on a retreat somewhere away from normality well home town walk on the sand take in the sea air an talk an I don't know be me I guess an it doesn't even have to be some where warm or hot just a beach with the rawing sea an beautiful sand beneath my feet!!
Xx <3 xX
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Saturday, 13 November 2010
The Shadow of Guilt an Breaking Free!!
Guilt
"When people are abused and assaulted, it is like the doors to their souls slam shut. The goal of Joyful Heart is to let the light, and the life, back in--to banish the darkness and let the healing begin." - Mariska Hargitay, President & Founder, Joyful Heart Foundation
As a survivor it you carry guilt around with you, well until you over come it!
I haven't yet, but I'm hoping soon I will be able to I need to work at it Work my way through it! I hold a lot of guilt so very close to my chest and I know i have to work through it to bring my self closer to the light at the end of the tunnel but it hard!! I feel guilty for telling people coz now they carry my burden upon there shoulders too but a friend a close friend who is like a 2nd Mum to me told me
"I love you, you are my baby girl, But you really need to get professional help now, I'm not qualified to help you in the way you need help, I soo wish i was but I'm not, An I will be there for you, all the way, Take you too session, be your shoulder after your sessions an hold you on day you think you can't stand but you need to talk to someone processional about what happened and the way you feel"
at first after her saying that I felt alone again I felt she couldn't cope with me talking to her but then I re-played what she said in my head again an again an realised it wasn't that at all it was the fact all she wanted was the best for me, wanted me to be happy me to build my life for me to be guilt free, to feel FREE inside & out and that's all that I want, to be FREE to learn to love my self again to not feel terror from a thought a touch or a sight or a feeling to be free and Feel LOVED, I know people tell me I'm loved but I don't always let my self feel the love I don't let people in like I should!!
I read this the other day:-
"Everybody knows that rape, sexual assault and child abuse happen. Society is willing to look at this reality from time to time, but is just as willing to forget the horrible truth about how many survivors are walking among us. The Joyful Heart Foundation is working to build a community that is strong enough not to push this reality away, a community that acknowledges the dark side of this issue, but endeavors to turn toward the light of healing, the path to possibility and the clarity of honest dialogue." @ Joyful Heart Foundation web page
It makes you think yes there are so many of us out there but we are to scared to stand as one and be noticed but if a foundation like Joyful Heart is pushing our plee forward then it make the world brighter!
Sending lots of love to you all
XXxx
"When people are abused and assaulted, it is like the doors to their souls slam shut. The goal of Joyful Heart is to let the light, and the life, back in--to banish the darkness and let the healing begin." - Mariska Hargitay, President & Founder, Joyful Heart Foundation
As a survivor it you carry guilt around with you, well until you over come it!
I haven't yet, but I'm hoping soon I will be able to I need to work at it Work my way through it! I hold a lot of guilt so very close to my chest and I know i have to work through it to bring my self closer to the light at the end of the tunnel but it hard!! I feel guilty for telling people coz now they carry my burden upon there shoulders too but a friend a close friend who is like a 2nd Mum to me told me
"I love you, you are my baby girl, But you really need to get professional help now, I'm not qualified to help you in the way you need help, I soo wish i was but I'm not, An I will be there for you, all the way, Take you too session, be your shoulder after your sessions an hold you on day you think you can't stand but you need to talk to someone processional about what happened and the way you feel"
at first after her saying that I felt alone again I felt she couldn't cope with me talking to her but then I re-played what she said in my head again an again an realised it wasn't that at all it was the fact all she wanted was the best for me, wanted me to be happy me to build my life for me to be guilt free, to feel FREE inside & out and that's all that I want, to be FREE to learn to love my self again to not feel terror from a thought a touch or a sight or a feeling to be free and Feel LOVED, I know people tell me I'm loved but I don't always let my self feel the love I don't let people in like I should!!
I read this the other day:-
"Everybody knows that rape, sexual assault and child abuse happen. Society is willing to look at this reality from time to time, but is just as willing to forget the horrible truth about how many survivors are walking among us. The Joyful Heart Foundation is working to build a community that is strong enough not to push this reality away, a community that acknowledges the dark side of this issue, but endeavors to turn toward the light of healing, the path to possibility and the clarity of honest dialogue." @ Joyful Heart Foundation web page
It makes you think yes there are so many of us out there but we are to scared to stand as one and be noticed but if a foundation like Joyful Heart is pushing our plee forward then it make the world brighter!
Sending lots of love to you all
XXxx
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