Ok Guys so i've not written for a long while!
This is because I didn't know what to write, I didn't know how to cope but putting it out there that I wasn't coping was the hardest thing for me to admit too!!
I'm struggling everyday with my secret An at the moment I am finding it hard at times to deal with!! I am so Lucky tho as I have found a place where when ever I turn to it I feel at home i feel loved, I feel everyone knows how each other are feeling or can empathize with the way we are feeling!!
This Place is "The Joyful Heart Foundation" (Facebook Page)
I believe if i hadn't have had found this foundation I think i wouldn't be where I am now I wouldn't be starting the most important journey of all the journey of healing of coming to terms with what has happened to me!! And I wouldn't have met the most amazing friends I could ever have asked for!! Even tho we live millions of miles & oceans apart I have a real connection to them!! Some i talk to every single day an I don't know what I would do with out them, They have become my JHF sisters!!
At the moment I am looking into getting some professional help! I have Phone numbers for helplines (crisis centres) But i find talking on the phone so hard!! I can do it for work that's OK it has never bothered me but for something so personal I find it ever so hard!
The other day i picked up the phone an I called them tho i heard the voice but i just could not speak not one word would come out of my mouth nothing so i hung up!! I wonder how many times a day they must get that how many times do women call up but can't speak, like me find it so so daunting that it hurts!!
I just wish i could speak, Like now i feel i could speak but i know that as soon as i picked up the phone an as soon as heard someones voice I would just blank I would just start to shake, my hands would get all clammy an I would feel like I'm gonna loose it loose the plot!!
I so so want this help but I am so so scared at the same time, its the stangest of feelings!! I want to do Group therapy the most as i think i would benifit from this so much but being in the uk we don't really have much of this at all?!
Anyway I think i'll leave it there this time
I hope this finds you all well?
Take Care
x
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment