What does being Touch mean?

touch

am I touch I don't know i think parts of me are touch an other parts aren't so touch but i guess i must be a bit touch as I have survivored an i am starting to heal i am coming out the other side.
I still find some men scary an feel very imtimated by them I don't fink i'll ever over come this but I'm learning to live with it I guess.
But my friends have said i'm a touch chick, who takes on anything, guess its the same as being fearless?
But am I fearless?
I guess by doing this blog I am becoming more and more fearless as time passes!
One close friend said to me once after i had a tattoo saying fearless done on my wrist that by god hun that tattoo really does suit you, you really are fearless, that must have hurt so much?
AN yes at times I am really really fearless I don't think about the fear of the pain I look at it in a different way esp now i know i can do it.
Whats stopping me?
When i was in my late teens and early 20's I didn't do stuff coz i was scared of what i may find, yes i had tattoo's done but i guess that was a small part of me trying to get out, I had a chance at one point to move to america but i never took it, I was gonna move over to be a nanny but coz of my mum's fears i did as she said an never went an now i wish i had gone an done it, don't get me wrong i don't regret my decision I made but i wish i had made a different one but I can't change it now so I don't let it worry me! Hay if i'd made the decision i wouldn't have met the people i have, I wouldn't have met my best friend, maybe i would have kept my secret locked up for ever an not told anyone an that wouldn't have done me any good would it?
A friend from work has gone traveling in Auz an she's having so much fun and thats brilliant, but she asked me before she made the descision "Pink what should I do? do you think I should go?"
So i said to her "Go for it girl, theres stuff from my past i wished i'd done but now I can't do it, so you go live ya life hun an do what ya want when ya can"

I know at 27 i'm not old an i have plenty of time to do stuff but i have so much more responsiblties money wize that i can't just up an leave!
I'm doing a job I love with my best friend what more could i ask for?
I'm started to feel like i'm really ready for a relationship now, I'm starting to love me self more now, an if i love me self more then I can see why people like me and love me.
3 months ago I really couldn't see why people liked me I really couldn't it was as if a black cloud was sitting above me, I hated every bit of me self, but now god thats changed i know I'm worth something, I understand why people like me, I don't really like the way i look all the time but thats coz i hide behind my weight behind food behind drinking, going out drinkin an gettin so plastered i could hardly remember anything, yes i still like going out an having a laugh an yeah i may get drunk but i don't do it every week at least twice a week, i'm lucky if i go out every month.
I'm changing all that, changing the way i look i'm starting to loose weight, i'm starting to get my self fit, i'm going running an i am starting to eat better an not eat for comfort, I hate hinding behind food i have done it for years now but thats gonna change!
Hay think i've just realised i am touch
I really am an if i'm touch then i must be fearless
An thats brilliant
Isn't it?
I'm smiling today an thats a special thing coz i'm still smiling even when i'm on me own an its been along time since i did that LOL
So guys if ya any of ya want to talk please comment or mail me an i'll try to help
Keep smiling and stay fearless
PinkYorkshireLass
X x X